I looked at my hair more closely. I have now got two sections of burned-off 'bangs' that are about eyebrow length at the edges of where I did the bleaching. *sigh* It's melted, effectively. Not as astoundingly as it did the time I *actually* melted my hair and it turned gooey and stretched in my fingers, but melted.
I do not know what I'm going to do right now. Bleaching it again in any sense is idiotic, even if I have it professionally done, but god *damn* I am pissed off about fucking my hair up RIGHT BEFORE X3, when the fucking movie has been a major motivator in me not cutting my goddamned hair *off*. I may go have it professionally bleached before the movie and then cut it all the fuck off because it will be so utterly destroyed.
The alternatives I can think of are basically along these lines:
1. redye it all to brown, which would look better than it does right now, anyway;
2. cut it in some fashion or other, bangs being the most obvious choice to get rid of the damage and retain the length, but also the most fucking annoying to grow out, plus I really don't want bangs and long hair for some reason. It seems so fucking Daisy Mae;
3. cut it _all_, maybe in a longish Louise Brooks cut, which looks fantastic on me, and which I've never worn when I was this thin, or;
4. cut a lot of the damage off, by, say, cutting it all to chin length or a little longer, and trying to be patient while it grows out again.
Despite all my bitching, I don't really want to cut my hair right now. I've spent this fucking long growing it out. I could also cut the bangs/front/whatever you want to call it to chin length and mitigate the damage, but that leaves the stupid burned-off bits, and I really feel like if I cut bangs I will be so pissed off I'll just want to cut it all the fuck off.
Would you like to hear the other irony? The other irony is that if this new wave my hair has achieved turns out to make a sharp bobbed haircut not work on me, I'm going to be REALLY PISSED OFF. I'd actually come to terms with having stick straight hair. Where does it get off changing the fucking rules on me?
The biggest plus side to cutting it all off is that I would have almost completely undamaged hair when I started swimming. That would be really good, if I'm going to be dunking my head in chlorine several, or even a couple, times a week.
Fuck. Just, fuck.