Log in

No account? Create an account
03 July 2011 @ 05:14 pm
Transformers 3  

Bearing in mind that I know perfectly well I’m getting what it says on the tin when I go into a Transformers movie, and therefore am generally okay with whatever I get, I’d say Dark of the Moon was distinctly better than Transformers 2, except it relegated the female lead to “object for hero to rescue” in a significantly worse way than the first two movies. Really, why not use a dog? It would cost less.

They do, however, earn loads of points for 1: actually getting Buzz Aldrin to play himself, and 2. at least three flagrant Star Trek references (Leonard Nimoy voices Sentinal Prime, see). And for those two things much is forgiven.

But seriously, a Michael Bay film about a kid trying to rescue his dog from evil alien robots would be considerably more exciting and heart-wrenching. Also, why *do* the Decepticons get all the good shit, and could someone please explain to me why on earth Shia LaBeouf attracts such phenomenally hot babes? Because…just no. Really. No.

(x-posted from the essential kit)

Cyrano: Scientific Inquirycyranocyrano on July 3rd, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
Does the dog have large breasts? Because that might work.
Lady Doomlithera on July 3rd, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
Here's the thing, though, Nimoy /should/ have had Transformers references. he was in the animated movie. Having Star Trek references, well, okay, but not as cool.
Wolf Lahtiwolflahti on July 3rd, 2011 07:30 pm (UTC)

"It relegated the female lead to 'object for hero to rescue' in a significantly worse way than the first two movies. Really, why not use a dog? It would cost less."

This is why we love you. :)
pgwfolcpgwfolc on July 3rd, 2011 07:31 pm (UTC)
1. Yes! That was awesome! I heard he was on the red carpet for the premiere, and thought that was kind of cool and funny, but the actual cameo was a shining moment.

2. I actually found Leonard Nimoy's voice distracting. I recognized it almost immediately, and after that I couldn't unhear it. Although I did enjoy some of the Star Trek stuff, all the same.

3. The plot was lacking, yes, but it was enough to drive the action, and that's what it's all about. Giant robots smashing stuff in 3D for two hours. It makes for an enjoyable, if highly forgettable film.

4. I have no idea why Shia LaBeouf gets these women, except that the script says he does. At least it's kind of lampshaded by his parents' disbelief.

4a. I'm less convinced, however, that Rosie Huntington Wheatley is so phenomenally hot. She looked like a walking stick figure, even in 3D. It's clear that she could be gracefully, elegantly beautiful... if she put on about 20 pounds. Then maybe she'd have some curves, like the man said about the car.

0. Going back to the top of the entry... yes, she's little more than a damsel in distress (except for the part at the end where she does that one thing). But at least they treat her with more maturity and respect than Megan Fox, who seemed to exist mainly for staged slow-motion cheesecake shots.

Also, while I'm commenting: Death Star PR's hilarious take on the film. However, as they say, "Be warned: spoilers and logic after the jump."
pgwfolcpgwfolc on July 4th, 2011 05:50 pm (UTC)
Actually, I've been thinking. Megan Fox was more into action, it's true. But Carly was the voice of reason in this movie.

"Sam, they're an entire military organization who have been actively doing this for the last several years, over who knows how many missions. You're a guy who got mixed up in it a couple of times and managed to come out alive. If this wasn't a movie, and you weren't not only the star but the proxy for the target demographic (which, by the way, is the only reason I fell instantly in love with you), you'd be worse than useless, and mostly likely dead in the first five minutes. Stay with me and try to live a normal life. There is no sane reason for you to get involved again."

But he does choose to get mixed up in it. (And, really, if he was looking for a job and wanted to be involved in this stuff, you'd think he would enlist in the military or something...) And what happens? He's worse than useless. He's the only reason she gets caught, and you know what happens to him after that.

So, yes. She gets turned into a Damsel In Distress. But then, when she does decide to get involved and take action, she ends up doing one of the single most important things a human does in the movie (and the humans do pretty well for themselves this time around). The ploy itself is a huge cliche, but she was the only one who stopped to think and realize it could be done. And she did it not by running, screaming, and shooting, but with brainpower.

She's the smartest, most rational person in the entire movie. The only reason she comes off looking bad is that she got stuck in an over-the-top Michael Bay summer blockbuster, where reality doesn't work the way a reasonable and intelligent person would expect.