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08 May 2010 @ 05:18 pm
Honey, will you get the ray gun ready?  

Dave Barry, in his words of wisdom, suggests not taking a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night. I further add to this, don’t take a fibre drink when you have a newborn. The rest I leave to your imagination. (Actually, it didn’t affect him at all, but it’s hard to put a baby to sleep when you’re making a sudden panicked run for the toilet. OTOH, in a fit of morbid curiosity, I got on the scale this morning and was within a pound of my pre-pregnancy weight…)

The breast pump looks like a 1950’s SF movie-style ray gun. All it needs is a swirly light effect in the bottle to make it perfect. Ted cannot help darting through doors, ray gun at the ready, when he’s bringing it to me. This morning I staggered out of bed and said to him, “Can you get the ray gun ready?” My mom, who had arrived to rescue us already (I don’t know what we’d do without her), stared at me, and Ted went dashing off to the kitchen, and she said, “Did you say ray gun?” I explained, and as I went staggering toward the shower, I heard her say to Ted, “I _thought_ she’d said ray gun…” :)

Apparently I’ve missed my calling as a wet nurse. Who knew?

One of the quilts Tammy made for Henry. It choked me all up. :)

And one Mom made.

Pretty much going back to bed now.

(x-posted from the essential kit)

Geek of Weird Shit: sensualgows on May 8th, 2010 04:28 pm (UTC)
Wow . . . the first one's a homemade quilt? I'm blown away. (I love it, too!)

The one your mom made is GORGEOUS, too. Mr. Henry is quite well outfitted, I must say.

That, and I'm glad I didn't attempt a quilt. ;)
Mary Annepers1stence on May 9th, 2010 01:53 am (UTC)
No kidding! I was thinking of knitting a blanket but have opted for plan B having seen the plethora of bedding that boy already has. ;)
S. L. Grayshadowhwk on May 8th, 2010 04:32 pm (UTC)
Too much cute in one post!

Well, bathroom things are rarely cute, but you know what I mean.
Kristine Smith: baby penguinskristine_smith on May 8th, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
The monkey jammies are adorable.
wednesday childewedschilde on May 8th, 2010 05:12 pm (UTC)
oh look at the cute baby
Megabitchmegabitch on May 8th, 2010 05:24 pm (UTC)
Apparently I’ve missed my calling as a wet nurse. Who knew?

Heh, my GP used to threaten to send me to Ethiopia to feed starving babies.
Jannejanne on May 8th, 2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
Very impressive quilts indeed!
I AM SHERLOCKEDi_amsherlocked on May 8th, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC)
Aw! Mr. Henry is just gorgeous! (and I am an expert judge on that as a midwife and mama of four)
(Deleted comment)
SaffronRosesaffronrose on May 8th, 2010 07:15 pm (UTC)
I called mine Mommy Juice. But then, when he was older, we called antihistamine liquid Snot Juice, to which his K teacher took exception. Heck, it was easier for him to say. We also had Headache Juice, which, unfortunately, he needed frequently after 3 yo. Family trait, alas.
SaffronRosesaffronrose on May 8th, 2010 06:28 pm (UTC)
That first quilt is great!
I wasn't overflowing with milk--had just enough, but there was no getting the ENTIRE aureole in the kid's mouth. Breasts that large.
Get as much rest as you can. You have more helpers than I did, I think, so let them do what else needs to be done. Okay, YOU have to nurse.
blitheringpooksblitheringpooks on May 8th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
The pediatrician once told me, "Too bad you weren't in here in October. I'd have registered you at the state fair in the dairy division."

Fortunately, I took it in the manner intended.

Quilts are beautiful--baby handsome--mom talented with words. A perfect post!
katedonovankatedonovan on May 8th, 2010 10:29 pm (UTC)
too perfect for words
I’ve been loving these posts. The two of you – I mean, the THREE of you – are just so adorable.

Wait until you go out in public, sans baby, and your milk ducts go into hyper-drive. I still remember our first post-baby movie date – I think it was RETURN OF THE JEDI. Milk everywhere. Pretty funny in retrospect.

Thinking of you!
Megabitchmegabitch on May 8th, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC)
Re: too perfect for words
Oh gods. I think my daughter was only 2 months old when a friend insisted that I get dressed up and go to her Hen Party dinner with all of our friends. I was apologising every half hour or so and heading to the Ladies to change the pads in my bra and manually express some down the sink to relieve the pain (fortunately no-one walked in on me at any point - not that I'd have cared... the pain was intense). I think I managed about two hours and had to head home.

Tip for all new mums and mums-to-be... if and when you go out in the first few months sans baby, spend a bit of time expressing and completely empty your boobs before you go. Trust me, it's not worth "saving time" by not doing it.
katedonovankatedonovan on May 9th, 2010 12:03 am (UTC)
Re: too perfect for words
Funny! What did me in was the sound of a baby crying in the audience. Apparently we're wired to feed all.
pgwfolcpgwfolc on May 8th, 2010 11:12 pm (UTC)
Ray guns and comic book breasts - made for each other.

Those quilts are amazing.

And Henry remains extraordinarily cute. Thanks for sharing. :)
Maggie Brinkleygauroth on May 8th, 2010 11:52 pm (UTC)
My hubby's boss suggested putting a dash of Guinness into the baby's mouth to send it to sleep. Oh, no. I drank the Guinness, breastfed the baby, and he slept for twelve hours. WIN!

(So did I.)
Maggie Brinkleygauroth on May 9th, 2010 12:10 am (UTC)
Also: he looks so cute and gorgeous! And I hope you are getting SLEEP, because the closest real-life creature to a zombie is a New Mum without enough sleep. Seriously, many congratulations. Henry is adorable.
anthony_lionanthony_lion on May 9th, 2010 10:28 am (UTC)
Who knows...

Maybe they DO use a breast pump as a ray-gun in a Sci-fi movie?

After all, they've used all kinds of stuff before.

And the possibilities for parodies...

Just imagine Kirk facing down a bunch of Klingons, and one of them suddenly points out that it's not a blaster he's holding in his hands...
(Of course, the rest of the Klingons then beats the first Klingon to a pulp because a proud warrior doesn't know what a breast pump is.)
mayakdamayakda on May 10th, 2010 01:02 pm (UTC)
Beyootiful blankies! And such a sweet baby!!!!

Is your breastpump the kind with the soft silicone insert? I loved that kind.