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26 January 2010 @ 11:20 am
an open apology  

This is an apology to all the heavily perfumed women at the pool I have ever cursed.

Don’t get me wrong. You are god-awful blights upon the swimming community. Your perfume thickens the air and leaves sickeningly sweet flavors at the back of other swimmers’ throats. It makes us cough and makes drawing breath difficult.

But you have got nothing on this morning’s Garlic Man.

Oh. My. God. I thought the perfumed women were bad, but this guy was actually gag-worthy. Every time I came near him I felt ill. It was so bad that when I caught a breath in his vicinity I said “Oh my God” or “*Galagh*” under the water. I was opting for oxygen deprivation at the walls rather than risk breathing near this guy. I have not gotten out of the pool and into the locker room–because he was lingering at the wall when I finished swimming–so quickly since high school when I had another class to get to in ten minutes.

I don’t know what he’d done, steeped himself in garlic for three days? Maybe he has a deep-seated fear of vampires, I don’t know, but oh my *God* that was the most appalling thing I have ever smelled at a pool. I cannot imagine how he got such a stench on him, but holy *Mary*. I hope he never ever ever comes back. Waugh!

(x-posted from the essential kit)
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
The Bellinghmanbellinghman on January 26th, 2010 10:33 am (UTC)
I'm rather surprised at this - my experience of swimming pools is that the smell of chlorine overrides every other smell going. I'm pretty sure I could never have detected perfume in the pool area.

(People reapplying scents in the changing rooms, yes, but in the pool?)

Are you super-sensitive to smells? (As in the aroma equivalent of being a super-taster, that is.)

I'm wondering about this guy, though. He may be a garlic chewer, and such do exist: I still remember a boy at school who did this, and could empty a room in no time flat. Or he may be exposed at work to tellurium, which smells of garlic (or possibly, garlic smells of tellurium).
kitmizkit on January 26th, 2010 10:41 am (UTC)
Chlorine *does* normally override every other smell, which should give you an idea of how overpowering this guy was.

Um. I'm not aware of being a super-scenter (although I was recently accused of in fact being a super-taster, so who knows?). I apparently have a much better sense of smell than Ted does*, but he's encountered the perfume-laden women at the pool, too, so in those cases it's really truly that they're horribly cloying, rather than me being unusually sensitive.

*His phrasing, shortly after we got married: "Your nose smells more than mine does!" I stood on my toes, put my nose on top of his, sniffed, and said, "Your nose doesn't smell at all!" He nearly fell down laughing. :)
Pamela: Cuidado!jeditigger on January 26th, 2010 02:15 pm (UTC)
Wow, if you smelled him over the chlorine...woof.

I wish I knew what to tell guys like that. I went to a meeting with someone a few weeks ago whose breath was HORRIBLE...and he was sitting several feet away. Even the coffee we were drinking didn't help disguise the smell. :(
Amandatreehugginhippy on January 27th, 2010 12:34 am (UTC)
Now, this is why, after eating a slice of pepperoni pizza and two VERY garlicky garlic knots at the mall, I insisted to my mom that we go get me gum before continuing to shop. I LOVE garlic, and I was offensive even to myself!