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25 March 2008 @ 12:43 pm
*props eyes open with toothpicks*  

Sitting down to write this morning presented me with another stage of the mid-book blues: I discovered that I was so uncertain as to the quality and story-telling appropriateness of everything leading up to where I was that I couldn’t convince myself that if I just kept going forward, it would be okay.

This also happens pretty much every time. So I printed the bloody thing out, and am now reading it. Reading my own work at this stage is one of the most mind-numbing things in existence. I just start falling asleep. I often end up taking naps, because I just can’t keep my eyes open. To try to counter this, I do things like dishes and blog posts and moving around, but omg. So. Mind-numbing.

Oft-repeated behavior tells me that I will inch my way through reading this, and decide it’s really not all that bad. One of two things will then happen:

1. I will be able to continue on.

2. I will be wrong, but unable to admit it/see where the problem is, and will take another few days of staring numbly at the computer screen before I come to terms with/recognize whatever it is that needs fixing, and then I will have to go back and cut and revise and become filled with hatred as my wordcount goes down instead of up before everything is actually okay and I can really continue on.

Guess which one of those is more likely.

I’ve…gotten better about the necessity of mid-book revision stage. It usually only takes me about 48 hours, now, to realize that’s the problem and to find a way to deal with it. I used to get stuck at this point for weeks or even months (or years, prior to publication (ie, when I had the luxury of years)), unable to figure out why I was spinning my wheels and being so frustrated.

I would like very much to get past the delay in recognizing the problem/finding an answer to fix the problem thing, but I don’t know if that’s really possible. *sigh* Anyway, back to trying not to fall asleep over my manuscript, I guess…

(x-posted from the essential kit)
All Over The Mapjemck on March 25th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
Been there, done that, will doubtless be doing it with the very next book. Used to rely on loyal friends saying with exasperation, yes, but you had this problem last time and it turned out ok. Then heard Philip Pullman speaking and he explained how this always happened to him too. So now I just don't fret about it.