April 15th, 2010

xmen_happyending

Argh.

Reluctant to write this morning. Know perfectly well my reluctance is because I don’t feel like the ending is integrating with the rest of the book. Spent half an hour faffing around, looking at email, Twitter, FB, LJ, then chatted with Soula in the war room, where I admitted to knowing what was wrong, how to fix it, and not wanting to, because I just want to get the damned draft finished. “Can you pretend it integrates?” she asked, but no, I can’t, never have really been able to do that, always have had to go back and actually fix the problems before I can finish.

So here I am at 81K with a self-imposed deadline of TOMORROW and I’m going back to chapter goddamned THREE or something to start working the necessary revisions in.

On the positive side, she said grumpily, they’re basically all additions, not subtractions, so it’ll push my wordcount up a bit, but ARGH. ARGH ARGH *ARGH*. I don’t WANNA. I just want to FINISH THE BOOK.

*stomps around, sighs, & goes to stupid work*

(x-posted from the essential kit)