May 28th, 2009


Dear Sugar,

You’ve probably noticed by now that I’m not coming around as much anymore.

I’d like to say it’s not you, it’s me, but the truth is it’s you. I find you irresistible, and the only way I can deal with that is by walking away from you entirely. You don’t make it easy, either, with your ice creams and cakes and chocolates all easily available and tempting. But you, in all your delicious forms, make me fat, and I’m tired of it.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. It’s much easier to snuggle in your sweet arms and be fat. On the other hand, I’m sick of only buying one or two pairs of jeans at a time and then wearing them to shreds because I’m sure I’ll manage to lose the weight this time so there’s no point in spending money on more. I have eight pairs of pants in the closet, Sugar, and they’d all fit me if it weren’t for you. One pair is purple. How can you possibly think you can compete with purple pants?

Probably because most of the time you can. Most of the time you do. In fact, most of the time you bitch-slap the pants and send them running to the closet and crying for Mommy.

That’s really not very nice behavior, Sugar. Is it any wonder I want to see somebody else?

Well, now that I’ve brought it up, I suppose I’ll admit to it. I *have* been seeing someone else. His name is Swimming, and he’s much more open-minded than you are. I mean, sure, he makes me work a lot harder for the reward, but he’s more adventuresome. In fact, for me to see Swimming at all I have to spend plenty of quality time with his pal Walking, and neither of *them* mind if I spend time with their friend Pilates, too. Most days I hang out with at least two of them, and know what? They all fit into my pants better than you do. So where does that leave you, Sugar? What have you done for me, besides give me heart palpitations and an upset stomach when I over-indulge in you?

You played hardball, too. Right after I decided to stop seeing you, you sent your nasty friend Head Cold to break my will. I’ll have you know it didn’t work. Maybe it didn’t work because mostly I had no appetite, but regardless, you failed. It’s been two and a half weeks now, and I’m not missing you quite as much. I know I’ll never stop loving you, but trust me, babe. It’s better this way.


miles to Minas Tirith: 299
ytd km swum: 43.7

(x-posted from the essential kit)


So the chat software we’ve been using for the word wars, tinychat (which is web-based and therefore ideal because everybody has a browser but not everybody has AIM/gchat/ICQ/whatever), has gone and made a bunch of Improvements which aren’t. I shall list them for you, because I know you’re dying to hear.

The different colored, bolded usernames (which helped differentiate chatters) have disappeared. So has the flashing toolbar announcement that there’s a new chat message, if you’re not on that window. The chat window itself is smaller, making it more difficult to follow conversations. The input window now, for some incomprehensible reason, displays bolded text. It’s now possible to log into a chat room without selecting a username, but there’s no way to bounce an anonymous guest. A flash window now pops up with irritating regularity to offer a pro (ie, paid) account. They have introduced a Twitter-length(ish) input limit. And (non-critically but sadly) the little flags which told people what country everybody was logging in from are gone.

This in general sucks, but in very, very *specific* sucks because my writing computer, Nook, is about ten years old and can just barely handle the internet. All I can do with it is connect to the chat room, which is *perfect*, because it means all I use the net for while I’m working is the wars.

Except I can no longer log in, because they’ve Improved it beyond my computer’s capability to cope.

Frustrated, and suspecting that our complaints (which, if you want to complain on, like, my behalf, can be sent to will fall on deaf ears, I spent most of the afternoon setting up a different chat room off my cemurphy website. It’s ugly as hell–I haven’t figured out how to drop a skin over it–but at least it functions on my very old computer.

For at least one other of our warriors, though, it doesn’t work. She doesn’t see anybody’s chats unless she types something herself, and then she gets all of the comments she’s missed in a big spam.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to spend hours testing different chat programs to see if I can find one that’ll work with everybody’s system, most difficultly mine. I *really* don’t want to buy a new work computer just so I can participate in the word wars, because not only is that expensive (even if I buy the cheapest desktop I can find), but my computer as-is really is *ideal* for me. I don’t *want* to be able to surf the net.

But I also really, really don’t want to give up on the word wars. They’ve been working so well for me, and for so many other people. I mean, clearly they can continue without me, I’m not integral to other people doing them, but *I* really want to be able to participate for my *own* good. And I’m *stupidly* stressed over this. :(

(x-posted from the essential kit)