January 30th, 2009

catie_cute

v. pleased with myself

I woke up at about 6:40 this morning and almost talked myself out of going to swim. But then I thought, “Self, you *always* feel better after exercising, and you know you won’t go later in the day.” So I got up and walked through the POURING RAIN and had a quite nice swim. I did 500 meters of just kicking, which loosened up my very, very, very sore legs (we walked about eight and a half miles on Wednesday, and then yesterday I did barre exercises. My legs huuuuuurt.), which was good. Of course, my legs felt like rubber afterward, but still, it was good. :)

And, in honor of tersa, who is kicking ass and taking names, I did a whole 50 meters of butterfly at once. :) (Tersa, mind you, is doing *hundreds* of yards of fly, but this is only the fifth time I’ve swum.)

Man, the problem with exercising is it makes me STARVELATE, and yet eating everything in sight kind of defeats the point. OM NOM NOM.

Today I will break 50K on TRUTHSEEKER.

*zoomz*

miles to Dunharrow: 169.9
ytd km swum: 9.1

(x-posted from the essential kit)
headdesk

*Shit*.

I have been having the nagging feeling that I don’t really have a *plot* in place here in this book. That’s not necessarily unusual for this stage: I’m about halfway through and I tend to lose confidence around here. So, in an attempt to shore up my confidence, I went and re-read the synopsis, which I’d been kind of deliberately ignoring because we’d changed a bunch of stuff around and the synopsis didn’t really reflect certainly the way the book ends anymore, at least.

Unfortunately, what it does reflect is a plot. One that is, in fact, missing from the book as it’s written. Part of me, right now, is going, “No, no, no! We can make it work! It’ll be okay! It’s going to be fine! Keep going!”

That’s the same part that felt vaguely uncomfortable with, and said the same thing about, HOUSE OF CARDS. Those of you who’ve been reading that long may remember that HoC got a revision letter back that said, “Take a look at these six things,” and the six things required me to throw out two thirds of the book and rewrite the remaining third so the book had a plot.

*Shit*.

Do not let it be said I cannot learn from my mistakes. I will not keep going, blithely hoping that somehow nobody will notice the book is missing a plot, because somebody will. Instead I will now rewrite everything that I’ve written this year, on the order of 30K words.

The book is due February 28th.

I am so screwed.

Well, no. I’m not, because in fact the worst case scenario amount of rewriting means 3K a day, which I can *do*. I don’t particularly want to *have* to, but that’s what I get for fucking the book up. I am, however, plenty pissed off at myself, and not at all happy about this turn of events.

Know what the hardest part about this is? Not even having screwed up, not the rewriting, but the shaking off of the old story and *facing* having to start over. I want, very very badly, to be able to salvage what I’ve written, and I *can’t*. There are ideas in some of what I’ve done that are good, and I may be able to implement some of them, but I cannot let myself approach this from a ‘revise these scenes’ angle. I have got to go back and *rewrite* everything. A hundred and thirty pages. I swear to god, I could kill myself for stupidity right now.

All right. I am going to go upstairs and build a new directory for the revisions, put all the old stuff away, and try really hard to pretend it’s not there. And then I’m going to come down here, have lunch, and go back to work trying to pretend I haven’t done anything on this book for the last month and start anew.

*Argh*.

(x-posted from the essential kit)
catie_cute

blah.

Ok. I have gotten three chapters revised, one with only a couple hundred words changed (but one nearly entirely rewritten). The next chapter is going to probably be half rewritten; some of what it does is good, and some is less good. I would really *really* like to keep the chapter after that, but unless I can forcibly insert plot into it, it’ll have to go. Regardless, the three immediately after that will have to be rewritten entirely. Possibly more than that, I don’t know yet. But what’s in there right now is *not* salvageable, and what will go in its place will be much better.

There are at least a couple scenes after all those rewrites which can be salvaged. I don’t actually know right now if I’m going to leave that part of the story as it’s written or if I’m going to go back and rewrite it as the synopsis suggests. Won’t matter for several days, though, because I’ve got to fix all the stuff before it.

It is very, very important that I do not let myself stop swimming and doing pilates because zomg i must spend ALL MY TIME on the book and not do ANYTHING ELSE EVAR because ZOMG BOOK IS SCREWED UP, which is my usual pattern.

And now I have to go do forty-three things that need doing, some of which needed doing months ago and have now become critical.

ytd wordcount: 29,200 :p

(x-posted from the essential kit)
catie_cute

Ms. Posty McPostperson

Just what you wanted, another post from me, because there’ve been so few of them today.

Chance update: it appears that for some reason the files didn’t go to the printer for issue #2. They’ll be sent to the printer at the same time as issue 3, which I gather means they’ll hit the shelves at the same time, somewhere around mid-February.

A-Gaimaning we go: Ted and I have tickets to the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival screening of Coraline. We have a Plan to go in to Dublin that day and stay there for a couple-three nights so we can go to the Gaiman signing at Chapters, too. It would be splendid to make plans to see people!

Um. I guess that’s it. For some reason my category icons on WordPress have stopped working. I need to figure out why. Hrm. Anyway.

(x-posted from the essential kit)