November 27th, 2007


wish me luck

4800 words (or more) needed today. The idea is slightly overwhelming (I maintain 3K days better than 5K days over the distance). All encouraging comments will be met with love and gratitude.

eta: ok, after two hours and two hundred words, I need to figure out whether the problem is that I just don' wanna, or if I've screwed up. Usually this kind of reluctance is a sign of having screwed up, but if I have I don't know what the hell to *fix*. The obvious "this is the scene I'm not sure about" is one that I really think needs to be there, because otherwise even *I* lose sympathy for my main character. And if I have to go further back than that to fix it, I'll...

...ok, I won't actually kill myself, but *fuck*. And if I have to go back that far (I know where I'd have to go to), what the hell do I put in its place so the scenario as written can be stricken? *Argh*.

I better wake Ted up. I need his brain. :P
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    remy zero: somebody save me
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forward motion: 0; peace of mind: ...1?

I woke Ted up and cried on him and told him everything that happens in the hundred pages I've written since he read the manuscript, and he opined that the thing my main character does that I'm not comfortable with is in fact exactly what she should and in fact has to do. He came up with a couple of good ideas that help explain something else, and then he made dinner and re-arranged the living room. Ted is a hero.

So what I'm doing now is going back through the manuscript to see if I can strengthen things that lead to the decision that makes me twitchy, and what I'm discovering is that quite literally from the first chapter, the support for it is already there. You'd think I knew what I was doing, or something.

The step after that, then, is to take what I've written in the last few days and intensify the emotional impact. Right now what I've got is good, but it's also too distanced, too remote, which works in one way and doesn't in another. I could tell when I was writing it that it wasn't *right*, but at the moment getting through was more important than perfection. Now I'm feeling the pressure of actually needing that to be stronger material in that section, because without that strength I'm not happy with the Problematic Scenario.

And ideally what will happen is that fixing those chapters will either resolve the issue I have (Ted's belief that it's in character and appropriate helps, because he's usually right about these things) or while I'm fixing them I'll figure out what other choices I have. I expect this will take most of tomorrow. There's no way I'll finish NNWM by the end of November, and I probably won't finish the book by the end of November either (god damn it), but hell, I've already deleted fifty thousand words from this book, which must count for something, right? (Ok, probably only...ok, actually, probably at least 50K. This is *not* a good way to write a book.)

Yeah. This is the exciting life of a writer, folks. This is what the glamour looks like. :)