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26 October 2016 @ 10:31 am
we need to talk about sugar  

And when I say ‘we’ I mean ‘I’, and when I say ‘talk’ I mean ‘write this down, maybe it’ll make more of an impression’.

Years ago after having a spectacularly bad hangover (that’s all I get, is spectacularly bad hangovers, which is why I basically don’t drink. I’m not reserved enough as a human being to require the inhibition-loosening aspects of alcohol and I stay hung over for *days*) I wrote down all of my symptoms to clarify to myself why I shouldn’t do that. I haven’t drunk to excess since, because the act of writing it down made it seem more real and memorable, apparently.

So I need to do the same with sugar. Or fat, one or the other, probably both, but it’s sweetness that I’m thinking of/craving when I go for junk food, so: sugar.

Aside from the fact that sugar makes me swell up (like, i get fatter, not, like, an allergic reaction, except i like saying it like it’s an allergic reaction :)), my persistent inability to only eat a little leaves me feeling *terrible*, and it’s like I can’t remember that from one gobble to the next. Or rather, I can, I just don’t care enough, and live in this vague belief that a hit of sweet stuff will Make Me Feel Better This Time. I know better. I *know* better. But my desire for the stuff overrides the intellectual knowledge almost every time.

Even more offensive than the heavy pit of grossness in my belly is that–especially if I eat too much sugar in the evening–it’s started to have the same sort of *effect* that drinking too much has on me. Not a hangover* per se, but the accelarated heartrate I get from drinking too much. It’s not nearly as extreme, but it’s noticeable and unpleasant, to the point of keeping me awake if I’ve gone to bed too soon after eating all that crap.

There’s a bunch of other things too. The fact that sugar doesn’t trigger satiation properly so I eat a bunch of junk and then I’m vaguely hungry again half an hour later but Real Food doesn’t sound appealing (because sugar (and salt, for that matter) creates a craving for More Of It, rather than something actually satisfying. I didn’t even used to *know* that, and now that I do I can sort of recognize it sometimes and grimly break the cycle by eating Something Else, but it’s an active act to do that, requiring thought and effort.

Or the pretty horrifying thing where I realized that VERY OFTEN when I want ice crea it’s because I’m thirsty, and what I want is something cold. How fucked up is it to go for ice cream when you need water? That’s FUCKED UP. I’ve pretty well got that one under control, I’ve learned to recognize & rewire it, but holy shit, dude, that’s messed up.

And I know from experience that really the only way to cope with this is to go off sweets (candy, cookies, cakes, ice cream, hot chocolate, etc) entirely, and cold turkey, because if I let myself have ‘just a bite’ that’s the whole shooting match, for me. After about three weeks it’s not that hard, but getting through the initial window is very, very difficult. I’ll go 3 days and think “that wasn’t so bad, I can have a little something, it’ll be fine!” and it never is. Never.

And knowing it doesn’t make it stick any better, but maybe writing it down will…

*I’ve had one sugar hangover in my life and it was awful but also very funny and fun because I was out with a bunch of girlfriends and we’d eaten hardly anything for most of a day and been up all night before binging on Krispy Kremes and got sugar-drunk and five hours later we were all like SWEET GOD WHY ARE WE HUNG OVER. To this day I don’t know that any of us can eat Krisy Kreme doughnuts. :)

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

Deborah Blakedeborahblakehps on October 26th, 2016 11:51 am (UTC)
If it makes you feel any better, they've proven that sugar is actually physically addictive. The more you eat, the more you crave. And it feeds gut yeast, which then growl at you for more.

I have found I can do well if I stick to one small piece of dark chocolate to satisfy my after dinner sweet craving. It has much less sugar and is actually good for you, and it is rich enough that I don't want a lot.

On the other hand, right now there is crappy Halloween candy in the house and I'm not telling you how many I ate last night...
Douglas Milewskidacuteturtle on October 26th, 2016 12:56 pm (UTC)
There is a condition where people have microbes in their gut that produces alcohol. For real.
Wolf Lahti: Hiwolflahti on October 26th, 2016 06:16 pm (UTC)

The good news is when you cut out the sugar, you lose your craving for it. Indeed, sweet things taste too sweet, and you don't even want to eat them.

The bad news is... um...

Let me get back to you on that.
martianmooncrab: pic#59898509martianmooncrab on October 26th, 2016 08:21 pm (UTC)
Alcohol is made of sugar, and our bodies just love sugar, and our brains want more more more into those receptors.
dancinghorsedancinghorse on October 26th, 2016 09:27 pm (UTC)
You might check your blood sugar just to be sure your pancreas is doing what it should.
kitmizkit on October 26th, 2016 09:36 pm (UTC)
I do need to do that, although I'm pretty sure it is because when I can get myself off the sweet stuff I'm *fine*. It's just the damn habit of it.
Jannejanne on October 29th, 2016 10:17 am (UTC)
The first time I went cold turkey on sugar was *horrible*. Gave me an appreciation of what smokers and other addicts must go through. It's gotten easier after each time I have had a slip, though. Currently have the house full of Halloween candy and not feeling the slightest temptation to touch it. Good luck!