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kit
16 March 2017 @ 01:45 pm

A cold attacked me on Sunday. One minute I was fine, five minutes later I had a raging sore throat and completely stuffed sinuses. Monday I sat on the couch and watched Farscape. Tuesday I went to Dublin, which was clearly an overtaxing of my ability, but I was glad I went. I went to bed at 7:30pm on Tuesday night (Indy tucked me in and read me a story &heart;), woke briefly at 11 and thought “yay I’m a lot better!” and went back to sleep…and woke up at 4:30am. :{ Got up at 5 or something. Went BACK to bed at 10. Got up at noon, sure I would make it through until evening. Then at 7 on Wednesday evening Indy wanted some snuggle time and we went upstairs and I lay down on the bed and was like NOPE. THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE.

And woke up at 2:30am. *sigh* Stayed up until 8:30. Went back to bed until around 11. I’m pretty clearly going to have to rely on caffiene to get me through until 9 or 10pm tonight, because it’s now a quarter to one and frankly I feel I could go back to sleep.

I *am* a lot better than I was Sunday thru Tuesday evenings, but I’m still wrecked. I’ve accomplished no work at all this week, which would be frustrating if I could muster the energy to care that much. I am crying at everything. This is No Fun At All.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
14 March 2017 @ 09:26 pm

After closing out my 30 day run at this, I didn’t so much fall off the wagon as take a long low running dive and strike out away from the wagon as hard as I possibly could. I even stopped counting calories. There has been a distinct To Hell With It All vibe, and I’ve been Just Fine with that.

Today, however, marks the start of another go at this, with a 6-week run ahead of me instead of 30 days.

I don’t know quite how I’ll handle this go. Back to counting calories, but I don’t know if I’ll be more strict, or less strict, with myself regarding actual sweets. I’m leaning toward more strict, which means no hot chocolates on Thursdays, but we’ll see how much willpower I have in that regard come tomorrow.

Even with most of a week of throwing it all to the wind, I’m down five pounds over the past five weeks. That’s a perfectly reasonable rate of weight loss, although not a terribly inspiring one. (The lack of inspiration is probably part of why I flung myself off the wagon so readily. Thanks to biology my lowest weight this month was a couple weeks ago, and I’m actually slightly lighter now than I was when my 30 days were up.) Anyway, inspiring of not, that rate of weight loss will eventually get me where I’m going, so here we are, back on the wagon.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
13 March 2017 @ 04:17 pm

Not that we expect more Sophias. She’s named after a Disney princess. :)

I decided rather suddenly this week that we needed a cat, and since the animal rescue was having an adoption day on Saturday, we went in to look at “Tiggles”, who had been with them since December because she HAAAAAAAAAATED adoption days and curled into the corner of the cage and hissed and spat at anybody who came near. She’s been fostered at one of the rescuers’ homes, though, and they swore she was charming and sweet outside of the kennel, and, importantly, an adult (she’s 3.5 years old) who doesn’t mind small children, and I believed them. We took her home, renamed her Sophia, and now we have a lovely cat.

Sophia, lounging. :)
sophia05

Radiators are best.
sophia01

Watching birds out the window.
sophia02

Sophia immediately displays a cat’s natural antipathy to a human having a laptop instead of a cat on their lap.
sophia03

“Hey!” said Indy. “I want to be in that picture!”
sophia04

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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kit
09 March 2017 @ 01:35 pm

I have Ambitions about the garden. My Ambitions probably require a wood chipper, a chainsaw, a tiller, whatever one uses to pull (reasonably small, because I wouldn’t try to deal with the big trees) stumps/roots out, and as many willing bodies as is feasible, to accomplish.

See, half of it garden is gone to wild, and was before we moved in here. I don’t even necessarily mind that it’s wild. It’s that it’s murderous, full of brambles (which at least produce blackberries) and nettles (which don’t). I’d like to reduce it to non-murderousness. I don’t have any PLANS for it beyond non-murderousness, not really

(except the blackberry bramble patch would probably make a good area for a small vegetable garden)

it’s just that I want it to not leap out and attack random passers-by. But if that’s going to be done it might as well be done right, and if it’s going to be done right it’d probably be silly to not at least put grass down, or something.

There’s far too much of it to be done, realistically. It’s…well.

gardenwreck02

That’s probably…I don’t know. I mean, from that angle, it’s 60 feet deep, but that’s looking toward the corner from where I was standing. Facing straight back it’s at least 20, maybe 30 feet deep from where I’m standing to the fence blocking the creek. And it’s at least a hundred feet long, so it’s just…a lot of ground. Too much. Except, y’know, if you’re gonna do it at all… #sigh

Even so, just dealing with the first…15 feet of depth?

gardenwreck03

There’s a fence running along the left of this picture, more or less (more or less) where the earth stops. Taking that out and clearing even just the five or so feet in front of it and the ten behind it would get rid of MOST of the brambles and nettles and it’d…just be a lot better. *sigh*

The whole mess is made worse by the fact that when pieces of the apple tree fell off last year, the gardener just threw them right over the edge of the fence in the clearest patch (which had been my blackberry patch, god damn it):

gardenwreck01

so what was bad the year before is much worse now because it’s got an entire extra dead tree lying on top of it. #sigh

And of course the longer it goes on the worse it’ll get, so I would LIKE to deal with it, but…agh. :/ And it should be done NOW, before spring really kicks into gear, and…agh!

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
08 March 2017 @ 09:30 pm

Today was sort of a weird day. I’d fully intended to get up and make pancakes and really just blow the whole thing out of the water, but we ended up going into Dublin, so I had a decent breakfast instead and headed in.

Had my beloved mint hot chocolate there, and thought “This is really very very sweet.” That was a kick in the pants. o.O

Ate a small sensible lunch, had some gorp for a snack, ate quite a lot of dinner and some cookies afterward, but stayed close enough to within my calorie allowance that it’s hard to condemn myself.

It’s clear it’d be very easy to slide directly back into bad habits. I feel like I’ve earned some indulgence, of course, but at the same time my indifference to sugar-based foods has grown considerably, and there’s no point in throwing that all away.

I have a couple of…plans, going forward. One, unexpectedly, may be going ahead and cutting that weekly hot chocolate, because…well, that was really very sweet. It’s the ritual of it that I’ll miss more than the actual drink. But hey, you know, Lent is coming up, and assuming I’m in the right ballpark for the calorie count on those hot chocolates, six weeks without would theoretically add up to about a pound and a half of bonus weight loss.

Other plans will be referenced when they crop up, because I don’t like making much in the way of predictions about this kind of thing. At some point I’m going to have to actually make a real effort to properly overhaul my diet, but honestly, I don’t see that happening in this next round. I think probably most of what I’m going to be doing is working on staying the sugar wars course, and perhaps making some modest effort toward a slightly lower average daily calorie count. A hundred would make a…very modest…difference, and is probably what I should be aiming for, realistically.

Anyway. I’m out for the night.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
 
kit
06 March 2017 @ 09:00 pm

I’m doing this for 30 days and keep thinking “4 weeks” and also keep forgetting what day I started, so today is 4 weeks but I’m not quite done yet. Not, she said grimly, that this can ever be *done* for me, because I’ll just fall back into old habits if I loosen the rein. Old, tasty habits. Still, I may treat this as sort of a wrap-up post, although hey, don’t worry, there’ll be a new leg of it starting soon.

The only other time I’ve gone off sugar for this long I was MUCH stricter with myself. I went absolutely cold turkey that time. I’d say I’ve run somewhere between 80-90% on target this time, which, since I’ve stuck with it, is certainly sufficient for my purposes right now.

The scale hasn’t moved much over the past couple weeks, but I think that’s as much a combination of bad timing regarding my digestive cycle and biology, as anything else. I’ll see next week where things are. Even as things stand, I’ve lost 7 pounds in the past 4 weeks, which is completely reasonable. It’s not, of course, the mega-dramatic OMG LOOK WHAT AMAZINGNESS HAS HAPPENED JUST BECAUSE I CUT SUGAR that one dreams of, but it’s completely reasonable. It would also be better, of course, if I hadn’t regained ten pounds in the six months previous to starting these sugar wars, but there’s not much point dwelling on that either.

As much of a triumph as the actual cutting of sugar aspect is that I’ve kept a calorie calendar going for 28 days, too, despite eating out. I don’t really know why I’ve managed to, but it’s probably helped, because I was able to see that the problem wasn’t necessarily that I missed sugar, but that I’d cut so many calories that I missed FOOD. That probably helped me choose wisely about what to eat to make up for the sugar, instead of just throwing the towel in and eating an entire cake.

Exercise has been hit and miss, and when I say exercise I mean ‘getting my 10k steps in’ because I’m not even trying to accomplish anything else. Most weeks I average pretty close to 10K a day, but I don’t often hit 10K every day. I’d say I’ll try to do better, but realistically I won’t. There are days when I just don’t leave the house, and nothing I’m really honestly going to do is going to get me 10K steps on those days.

Anyway, so that’s not quite a wrap, but it’s where things stand at the end of four weeks.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
04 March 2017 @ 11:21 pm

Despite my careless confidence yesterday, I went over calorie budget today. Given that I was below all week (drastically below on the day I inadvertantly barfed up dinner @.@), I’m not exactly concerned about this. It’d be nice if all this nonsense reflects in the scale on weigh-in day. We’ll see.

I went to a movie this afternoon and was quite hungry going in, but reluctant to get popcorn or any of the other crap available at the theatre. I stopped at a local bakery and got an eclair instead.

I mean, I ate it, because I was hungry, but I could tell from the first bite that I wasn’t really impressed with it. (I mean, beyond the fact that with one glorious exception, I’ve never had eclairs that I thought were as eclairs should be. The exception was at a farmer’s market where one of the businesses made eclairs that were the Platonic ideal. Like, these things were what God had in mind when God said “Let there be eclairs.” They used real, dark chocolate, almost a ganache, and chantilly cream, and a lavendar blossom on top, and they were *perfect*. As it happened, the last time I saw that company at that market, I stopped to tell them that these were the perfect eclairs. The guy said to the woman, “See?! I *told* you so!” and then they were never there again. Perhaps I broke the spell?)

None of that was the point. The point was that normally even if an eclair wasn’t the Platonic Ideal, I’d have been all like “eclair nom” and I was much more “eclair meh”.

It’s certainly nice to be past the murderous stage of this, to feel like I’ve turned a corner. I know all too well that it would be exceptionally easy to fall right back off the wagon, but right now, at least, it’s nice.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
04 March 2017 @ 05:51 pm

“PICKNOSE,” shrieked the six year old, gleefully. “Why is he called PICKNOSE? Does he PICK HIS NOSE A LOT?!?!”

“No,” I said, amused. “It’s because is nose is shaped like a pick, which is the thing he’s holding.”

Indy was less disappointed by this than I expected. :)

I haven’t done much coloring lately, by which I mean, in the past 6 months. I opened up my big Elfquest coloring book once and got overwhelmed because all I’d put down on the page so far were the orange highlights for the fire reflections on skin, and it looked like so much work to continue that I didn’t. But I finally looked at the actual coloring book, and this page, which was next, wasn’t too overwhelming. (The next page is also of trolls. I would have…laid it out differently, if it’d been mine. I also wouldn’t have had four versions of basically the same scene, but I’ve muttered about this before so I won’t again. Not much, at least.)

Anyway, doing the shading on this was fun, which is probably indicative of some kind of mental problem on my part. Although of course I then found a filter on my phone that smoothed out the shading so it looked much more impressive and liquidy and stuff, so I sulked for a while about that, but I’m not posting the filtered one because it’s not really what I did. :p

eqp11

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
03 March 2017 @ 10:16 pm

I’ve turned a corner with this whole thing. Since Sunday I’ve been…pretty indifferent to the idea of treats. I mean, I had my Thursday hot chocolate, but I had a discussion with myself about it and got it after the movie I went to, when I’d actually gotten to some level of hunger, instead of shortly after lunch & before the movie when I was quite full but trying hard to convince myself that I really needed to get that hot chocolate now. I finally was like “no, really, why would you?” and walked away from it until I had actual appetite.

I ate sensibly all the way around the rest of the day, too, which is really unusual, as Thursdays are kind of my Indulgence Day, and I don’t berate myself for whatever I might eat on that day.

I did have four small cookies and a glass of milk after dinner tonight, but it wasn’t even vaguely an OH MY GOD I MUST HAVE SWEETS kind of thing. I had millions of calories left in my budget and a variety of things I could have chosen, but I thought cookies just sounded nice, so I baked up a few and ate them and they were *lovely*…and I didn’t even remember that I’d baked up more so Ted (who had gone to a movie) could have a few too. Usually that would be a fingernails in the couch cushions keeping myself away from them kind of thing, so…yeah. I feel like I’ve turned a corner.

I also still ended up miles under my calorie budget, which was a totally unexpected but nice bonus. I have, in fact, been on or under budget all week (unless I’m hopelessly miscounting my intake, but I try hard to overestimate rather than underestimate), which is the first time that’s happened in this entire process. If I can get through tomorrow, and I have no reason to expect I can’t at this point, I’ll have 7 full days of on-budget eating, which is pretty great.

And now I’m going to bed, because my eyes are very tired.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

 
 
kit
03 March 2017 @ 01:32 pm

Saw my PT again yesterday. I can tell I’ve loosened up by the fact that most of what she’s doing now causes comparatively little agony (I still like having my calves worked on best, because there are no knots!), but ‘comparatively little’ is still leaving me wiped out and sore. But there’s a lot less fasciculation when she goes after a knot now, which suggests to me that the muscles are not so hopelessly frozen together.

I apparently mucked up my lower back sometime in the past week, because she was all “have you been lifting things?” and really dragged me around some yesterday. I can’t really tell if I feel better or just tired. (No, I do feel better.)

Tragically, I’ve run out of my magic gift card sessions, so I won’t be able to go back as often. I’d keep going back weekly for the next three months, if I could.

I need to invest some kind of discipline in exercise, but right now it’s all tied up in not eating sugar. *sigh*

Ok, that’s all I got right now.

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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